oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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