'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
