not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love having hate sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
