so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
