what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think my moral compass just broke
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
