doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
