just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
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My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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