ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
