I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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