you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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