I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
