Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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