Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
