this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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