yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
