Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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