So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
