Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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