Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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