I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!