you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
