For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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