There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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