he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
