I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
