College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
