I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
