I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
