mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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