i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
