he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
