dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
