Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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