No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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