can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
