The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
