Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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