so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
