pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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