She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I need moral support for this bender
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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