i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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