he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
