well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
