there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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