Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
