Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
