so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
