uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
