It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
