Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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