Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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