Just cropdusted the office
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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