Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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