I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
