There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
