A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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