ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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