Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
