so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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