You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
