Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
420 ftw
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
