This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Randomize
