I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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