if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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